today’s the day

today’s the day i’ll wake up
feeling comfortable in my own skin
i’ll look in the mirror and see myself for who i am
not a freak
not an insecure mess
but a person proud of their own identity

today’s the day i’ll put on a skirt and a blouse
and i’ll polish my nails and braid my hair
and feel freedom
and comfort
and security in being whoever it is
i want to be
today!

because today’s the day!

today’s the day i’ll catch myself in a store window
and i’ll pretend to look at the items on sale
but i’ll instead focus on my own reflection
just like that woman in that suzanne vega song
and i’ll be smiling
and i’ll see an angel or a fairy or a princess

not a freak
not an insecure mess
not an object of ridicule

today is that day!
liberation day!

today’s the day i’ll finally put those voices to rest
the ones inside that tell me
i’m a clown
i’m a fool
i’m a caricature

because: no, i’m not!
i’m a person, made of flesh and soul and feelings
i love, i care, i feel, i bleed
that is who i am
and today’s the day the world will see

today’s the day that i will see
through the fog of a lifetime of
boys don’t cry
man up
look at that faggot
don’t be a pussy

until nobody had to say it to me anymore
because i just keep saying it to myself

yes, today’s the day!

today’s the day that i’ll fall in love
with my own reflection
standing there
in the middle of the world
in front of the polished glass
of an antique shop

today’s the day that that bliss will be broken
by some men shouting,
look at that freak in love with himself
what a clown, what a faggot
we should kick his faggot ass

and that will be that
and i’ll remember my place in the world

just like that

so maybe today’s not the day

maybe
it’s tomorrow

11.07.21