What a Non-Binary Person Looks Like

I need to clarify something, because people still seem confused about this.

Non-binary people are all younger, except the ones who are older. Children can be non-binary. So can retirees.

A non-binary person has long hair. Unless we have short hair. Or we could have asymmetrical hair. Mohawks are nice. So are buzzcuts. Mullets, too. Whatever.

At any rate, we change our hairstyle every day. Unless we don’t. And we dye our hair. Unless, of course, we don’t.

AMAB non-binary people shave all our body hair, and AFAB non-binary people don’t. Except when it’s the other way around. Or when we trim only the parts we want to trim. We have beards, we are clean-shaven, we have pretentious goatees or mutton chops. Whatever we like, really.

Non-binary people wear shirts and pants and shoes, except when we wear dresses or skirts and blouses. Or tunics. Or muumuus. We wear leather, or silk, or leather and silk, or neither one because we’re vegan, or neither one just because we don’t. Or, really, whatever else we feel like wearing. (Keep it legal, kids! Or don’t, I guess.)

Of course, non-binary people change our clothing styles every day, except when we don’t. Some don’t even change our clothing every day, just like some binary people. And that’s okay.

Non-binary people are the fashion elite except when we aren’t, which is pretty often.

Non-binary people wear make-up if we want to. If we don’t want to, we don’t. You can always tell a non-binary person because we’ll either be wearing nail polish or we won’t be. We have extreme piercings and body modifications and tattoos, except for the ones that don’t. We love to wear lots of jewelry, or maybe some tasteful accents, or, you know, none at all.

Non-binary people get surgery or take hormones or wear things that flatten bits or make things bulge or whatever… except when we don’t do any of that. And all of that, and not doing that, is okay, based on each individual person.

Because the whole point of embracing the non-binary identity for many (but certainly not all) non-binary people is that those inane gendered boxes that everyone wants to put us in need to be shredded and torn up. At least, for ourselves.

So if you see a person that looks like a man (or woman) who is dressed like you think a man (or woman) is supposed to look and who has a hairstyle you expect a man (or woman) to have, and they say they’re non-binary, believe them. They are.

And if you see a person that shreds every gender expectation you have for them and they say they’re non-binary, believe them. They are.

(Oh, and by the way, if either of these people say they’re not non-binary, accept that, too. Don’t tell other people who they are. They know themselves better than you do.)

What does a non-binary person look like?

However they want. And that’s okay.

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