First, a limerick:
There was a young man from Nantucket
Who, throwing his watch in a bucket,
Said with chagrin,
“It’s broken again,
If it hadn’t been stolen, I’d chuck it!”
Now, the context:
I was dreaming that I was taking a high school Algebra class. I wasn’t paying much attention because, hi, I teach high school Algebra, why do I need this class?(1)
There was a short break in the class during which some students were chatting. One of them said, “There was a young man from Nantucket…” then, wisely, stopped. That got some giggles.
I said, “I know at least four versions of that, including the most common one.”(2) THAT got some shocked gasps.(3)
Then I casually mentioned I could write a G-rated version, and one of the other students (an older woman) asked me to so she could troll her friends at bridge night.
So, I wrote the limerick above. I know it’s not great, but for a limerick I wrote in a dream, I think it’s pretty darn impressive.
But then I had to write it down, and I couldn’t find any real paper on my desk: Everything I found (and there was a lot) was somehow weird: Narrow strips, or used already, or not to be written on. I found a stack of comic books(4) and started reading one, but stopped because I was in class.
All this time, the teacher was teaching right behind me, and he started making fun of the fact that “[Birthname](5) here apparently doesn’t need to pay attention, he’s reading comic books.”
I thought about challenging him with any problem up on the board. He was having students recite the problems as one student went over them; they were exponential rules exercises, like 4^(2xy) * 4^(3xy) = 4^(5xy). But I was too focused on finding a proper piece of paper to write on.
At some point, I realized both of my brothers were also in the class, and my younger brother was laughing along with the teacher making fun of me.
I didn’t get the limerick written down before I woke up.
FOOTNOTES
(1) My district is strongly encouraging all teachers to get ESL certificates. When I looked into it a few years ago, the programs wanted me to take Intro to Linguistics, even though I’ve *taught* Intro to Linguistics at two different universities (MSU and CMU).
(2) “There was a young man from Nantucket / Whose ____ was so long he could suck it / He said with a grin / As he wiped off his chin / “If my ear were a _____ I would _____ it.” I’ll leave you fill in the blanks. To my understanding, this is not the original, and I really have heard several others and don’t remember them.
(3) I’ve been thinking about an Autism TikTok I saw yesterday, about how we tend to struggle with “appropriate” humor, and how often our humor really IS objectively appropriate in situ, but it’s rejected primarily because we’re Autistic and hence we don’t get to play.(6)
(4) I’ve been going through some old papers in filing bins in the basement. There are lots of odd pieces of papers and, yes, many comic books.
(5) Another TikTok I saw yesterday asked if we’re ever deadnamed in our dreams. I feel like, in this one, I was birthnamed(7) because it was about past memories getting moshed together, but I don’t know if there’s a general pattern.
(6)(8) A joke from my teen years: A new prisoner is being introduced around. One of the prisoners says, “49!” and everyone bursts out laughing. Another says, “36, am I right?” and, again, everyone bursts out laughing. The new guy asks his guide, “What’s going on?” and the guide responds, “Oh, we only know so many jokes, so we numbered them to save time.” “Ah,” the new guy says, then shouts out, “91!” Dead, awkward silence from the crowd, and the guide says, “Dude, you really don’t know how to tell a joke.”(9)
(7) I don’t really like the term “deadnamed” for myself. I understand why others use it, but I’m currently on my fourth First Name, so at this point it’s just clothing for me.
(8) Footnotes on footnotes. Deal with it.(10)
(9) It’s easy to say the problem is that Autistic people don’t have proper timing or delivery, but that’s nonsense. Dan Aykroyd has been open about being Autistic, and he’s considered one of the most comedic actors of his generation. It’s more about vibes: Many Autistic people just give Neurotypicals the willies, and so the NTs (often unconsciously) hold Autistic people to a higher standard for conformity. Which is frustrating, because we typically struggle to meet the normal standard.
(10) Yay! You read all this. Or at least you skipped to the end. Either way, yay!