I have long avoided phone calls. If I have to call someone else, I usually need to work myself up. And when the phone rings, I either let it go to voicemail or (much less often) answer with an anxious aggression. I have generally attributed this avoidance to PTSD: After I moved out of my…
Category: Essays
“Disabled” and Passive Language
Special interest: Our language choices can affect and even effect thoughts. This is generally known as the Weak Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. And though this generally focuses on word choice, it’s also true of grammatical choices. One example is the debate between “person first” (“person with autism”) and “identity first” (“autistic person”) language. Disabled people (persons with…
Neurodiverse Grieving
This week I had to euthanize one of my cats. She’d been with us for nearly 20 years; she came in as a stray that refused to leave the porch. She was stubborn until the end, but it was clear that her various physical problems, particularly a cheek infection of some sort, had overwhelmed her….
Twitter: Autism Story Time
Prompt on Twitter: “When did you first notice feeling confused by social expectations?” Reply: I don’t remember “first”, but… story time! When I was in fifth grade or so, the bully wanted to beat me up. I told him he could, but only if it was after school where nobody could watch. I told him…
Othering and Otherkin
There’s an urban legend going around that says that furry youth are demanding–and getting–litter boxes in high school bathrooms. I have yet to see any credible evidence that a single such box has been seriously demanded, let alone installed. But that doesn’t stop people from railing against these fictions. This morning I saw a photo…
Broken Systems
This morning I saw a headline that said that some 400 police officers were on site in Uvalde before an off-duty non-police-officer border guard showed up and killed the shooter. My first instinct was to sarcastically comment “That’s a lot of bad apples”, but I didn’t. Instead, my brain decided to compare the standard police…
FB: On automatic gender identification
Let us assume for the moment that transgender and intersex people don’t exist. Let us assume that every single human has either XX or XY chromosomes and genitals to match. This is not true, but let us assume it is. Even under this assumption, recognize that our brains are culturally programmed to identify within seconds…
FB: Changing My Name
Yesterday I saw a FB ad for a credit card offering cards with your chosen name, and several comments were sneering about “Why don’t you just get a name change? Anyone can.” So. Having just finished the court process of changing my name, here’s what it involved: 1. I mailed in my application on May…
On Jada Pinkett Smith and the “Joke”
I’m not going to talk about the slap. I’m not going to talk very much about the joke, because there are at least three levels to it. I’m going to talk about one of those three levels. I want to make it clear that this is a small part of The Incident. The Incident and…
FB: On Trans Women in Sports
This next sentence may seem odd coming from me, but keep reading. It’s not transphobic to say that trans women athletes have a physical advantage over cis women. The medical truth of that statement has been debated, and I believe that, on the whole, it’s not true. There are certainly cases of trans women who…