Breaking news: Donald Trump’s latest debacle is so embarrassing that he has apologized publicly for the first time in his campaign. Or did he? In conversation, Good Men Project’s Michael Kasdan has pointed out that Mr. Trump consistently represents the antithesis of what this organization represents: His racism and sexism are toxic, he is overbearing…
Category: Essays
No More Bully for You: Refocusing the Conversation on Behaviors, Not Labels
Let’s talk about “bullying.” Not the act, the word. How is the conversation about the goal that we want, particularly those of us who are men influencing the emotional development of boys, affected by how we label it? Just like a lot of teachers around the country, I was encouraged to begin the school year…
5 Life Lessons from the Rubik’s Cube
As a geometry teacher, I like to keep a Rubik’s Cube in my room. The students usually seem to think it’s a way for me to show off (my average time is about two minutes… not championship level, but fast enough to be impressive). But I’ve come to see the cube as a metaphor for…
Another Unarmed Black Man Murdered by Police…and This One Also Won’t be the Last
Here we go again. Every time I see the latest example of police brutality resulting in the death of an unarmed, usually black citizen, I try to be hopeful that this is the one that will cause the sleepers to wake up. Yet again, I’m disappointed. Terence Crutcher, 40, unarmed, black, and male, was shot…
The Vicious Cycle of Unequal Treatment
Critics of Black Lives Matter often argue that black Americans are more likely to commit crimes than white Americans, and that this explains why police are more likely to enter into an interaction with black suspects at a higher level of suspicion and aggression. Statistically, it’s true that African-Americans are disproportionately represented at all stages…
The Evolution of Fear in Boys and Men
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the nature of fear. My son, age seven, has developed a consistent fear of marionettes and animatronics. The two monsters at the top of this anxiety are Mr. Slappy from the Goosebumps series and Foxy the Pirate from Five Nights at Freddy’s. The clarity of this fear reminds me of…
Shut Up and Dance
On August 26, 2016, a black man who is paid a lot of money to entertain people failed to stand for the National Anthem. In 2016 America, this is apparently news. This is the key part of the news. In the wake of this scandalous conduct, people have tried to make it about the man’s…
Cognitive Dissonance: Why Political Discussions Turn Nasty
If you’re like me, your social media has been populated lately with commentary using emotional appeals to get people to change their vote for President, with a combination of scare tactics to vote for Clinton or Trump in order to vote against the other and stubborn posts about the lesser of two evils still being…
Dismantling the Manhood Myth: Why It’s Damaging to Define Men in Terms of Size
When Donald Trump responded to Marco Rubio’s comment about his small hands being no indication of a problem elsewhere on his body, he invoked one of the most vulgar tropes about masculinity: That the size of the male genitals reflects an individual’s power. Like a pair of juvenile frat boys, Rubio and Trump quickly turned…
The Privilege of Not Discussing Privilege: How the Hypersensitive Invoke an Oppressive Past to Justify Themselves
It’s a common experience: We try to talk about privilege or Black Lives Matter or institutional racism, and we find ourselves walking on eggshells, carefully choosing our words to avoid offending any white males who might be in our audience (oops, sorry: I should clarify that not all white males respond this way). Even if…