An incident that happened last weekend stirred up childhood memories that help me understand why a particular behavior evokes a shutdown/meltdown reaction. When I was a child, my being right about even fairly arcane things was the norm, and so when I was wrong or ignorant about something, that was a source of mockery. I…
Category: Diary
Rumination Draft: Clothes make me a man
Once upon a time in one of my transgender groups, someone asked: If you’d been born in a body of the other sex, would you still be transgender? On its face, I’d assume that binary transgender people would generally say no, they’d be cisgender, they’d be happy with the anatomy they had, and that nonbinary…
Diary 030924
Some random thoughts of the morning: My brain likes to keep me from writing. One strategy is to convince me that whatever I’m writing right now is keeping me from whatever it is I would rather be writing. I want to write fiction, I want to write math stuff, I want to write personal reflections,…
Birthday Thought
Birthday wishes are weird, especially with PDA and RSD. If I GET them, I feel obliged to thank people individually, which I rarely do, and then I feel guilty; that’s the PDA. If I DON’T GET them, I feel ignored and abandoned; that’s the RSD. But they’re silly, really. Why should I expect anyone else…
Green pens
When I was a tween, I used to write in green ink. At the time, there were only four colors generally available, at least from Bic, at least at the drug store that was within biking distance. Those were blue, black, red, and green. I couldn’t write in red for obvious reasons, and I didn’t…
Burnout (Diary?)
When I hear about Autistic Burnout, I feel like it should be a complete cessation of activity, and while I haven’t posted on this blog for about two months, while my overall writing activity has been WAY down, I’ve still been doing stuff. I’ve come to realize that Autistic Burnout is not, in fact, a…
09/28 – Seeing What Was
I was thinking this morning about two different issues in my life right now, and both of them coalesced around: When you only see what is, not what was, you’re only seeing part of the picture. Let’s start with Henry Ford, who is credited with creating the 40-hour work weeks. I’ve been seeing memes booing…
09/27 (Ceci n’est pas une pipe)
This post is not about a computer. Last year, I bought a new laptop. It had occasional problems charging, but nothing major. Then, over a month ago and outside its warranty window, the battery completely drained while charging and would not register the charger. I researched online, and was told that sometimes the Microsoft-proprietary charging…
08.22.23 – A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing
I’m going to start with a dream I had last night, but it’s not going to be a Dream Post. In fact, I’m going to start with the end of the dream. I was talking to someone that I’d been hanging out with. I was sitting on the concrete curb by a road, and he…
08/09/23 – Phobia
There’s a topic that’s been on my mind that’s causing the rest of my writing to be largely jammed up. Today I’m just going to write about it and hope for the best. Maybe this will open my brain up for the stuff I’d rather write about. I have long had an anxiety about going…