I believe one of the reasons for the “rise” in Autism is that the modern world is increasingly hostile to Autistics, especially those of us with sensory issues (which is one of the four “must have two of these” criteria).
That was reinforced at yesterday’s PD. My school’s library is one of the worst places for someone with my flavor of SPD, especially when it’s pack filled for training.
The overhead lights are bright. That’s true throughout the building, but in my classroom, I’ve always done what I can to adjust it. In three of the four rooms I’ve had, I’ve had two switches and could hence just turn on half the lights; still a lot, and when half is still a lot, you know that all is way too much. In the fourth, I had maintenance remove half the bulbs. Again, it was still a lot. I often walk down the hallways with my eyes closed, only opening them from time to time to avoid collisions.
No such option in the library, and even on a bright day, when outside light would more than suffice, people feel the need to turn them on.
Ordinarily, that wouldn’t bother me so much; I could cope. But this week has already been a stress machine, and I’d been floating on the edge of a meltdown for several days. In fact, normally I can tune out the buzz of the lights, but yesterday it was loud and clear whenever the room was quiet.
Which, frankly, wasn’t often. Because there were so many people in that library, nearly elbow to elbow, and all. The. Talking. (This hits not just SPD but also the social aspects of Autism.)
And, of course, coffee. I am the social pariah that cannot be around the smell of coffee. I have been shamed for it, I have been pitied for it. The evolutionary theory is that parts of Autism, especially SPD, developed so that some members of the community could protect the rest from natural threats, but instead of listening to me being involuntarily threatened by the poisonous and addictive bean water, people ridicule me for it.
So I usually suffer in silence. Earlier this year, I had to block off a vent in my room because it was pulling in the coffee smell from another room. Because, as several teachers told me, “you’re never going to get that teacher to stop making coffee in their room.”
Funny thing about addictive substances, eh? But it’s legal and culturally accepted, so. Mph.
Let’s see then: Bright and buzzing lights, loud talking, poor temperature control, disrespect for meeting times, poor pacing of presentation, forced interaction during “turn and talk” activities, overwhelming odors of coffee and perfume, a social awkwardness of going out into the only-slightly-calmer hallway during the presentation…. Even with Loops earplugs, sunglasses, and a stress ball, I had trouble coping.
Compare this to life before the 20th Century, where people could often just escape into the woods for a little while to recharge.
So yeah, that was how my day started. For three hours. And by then I was so activated and so close to meltdown that every other lousy thing that happened just added to it, and eventually I burst.
Additional comment: Before I explored SPD and sensitivity to coffee smell, I used to think I hated the smell of coffee because my father’s churches always reeked of it. I find myself wondering if I had that backwards: If I became alienated from my father in part because I associated him and his workplace with the smell of coffee. 🤔
This is one reason why early identification is important. Knowing this (and other things about Autism) younger would have greatly changed the trajectory of my relationship with my father. Instead, though, I believe he was complicit in keeping this from me because of the associated stigma.